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Co-parents shouldn’t use their children as messengers

On Behalf of | Aug 24, 2021 | Child Custody

People going through a divorce who share children will still have to communicate with each other. This isn’t always an easy thing to do, but it’s necessary. Some people might think that they should try to avoid talking to their ex, but this makes things much more difficult.

One thing that you should never do is have the child pass messages from you to their other parent. Children who are messengers between their parents can suffer damage to their mental health.

Written messages should also be avoided

Some parents think that having a child pass written notes isn’t the same as having them pass verbal messages. The fact is that whenever the child is asked to relay messages, it puts them in a precarious position. Parents should ensure that they’re communicating directly with each other, even if it’s through texts or other written means.

Reasons to avoid using children as messengers

Children who are asked to be messengers for their parents may feel as though they have to choose between them. They may be subjected to the emotional reactions of their parents when they deliver the messages. Even if the reactions aren’t aimed at the child, it can be hard for them to see the negative emotions that are stemming from a message that concerns them.

Any father who’s going through a divorce should ensure that they have a parenting plan that enables them to remain a part of their child’s life. This should ideally be done as soon as possible after the split so that the kids can have the foundation for their new way of life.

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