As a father who wants to be involved in your child’s life, it can be frustrating when you can’t seem to avoid conflicts with your child’s mother. Coparenting can be tough at the best of times, so it’s not unusual to see people who have separated or divorced struggling to adapt to working together in their child’s best interests.
The good news is that you can avoid conflicts with your ex by starting to make changes in your approach and behaviors. Here are three things you can do to minimize the risk of disputes and conflicts in the future.
- Agree on staying positive around your child
One of the things coparents often fight over is how the other parent is talking about them. To avoid this, it’s a good idea to say positive things about the other parent or nothing at all. If you have a problem with something the other parent has done, you should talk to them about it when your child isn’t present. This will minimize the risk of offense over bringing up a concern and help keep your child out of the argument.
- Agree on communication
Another helpful thing to do is to agree on how you communicate with the other parent and your child. Set consistent guidelines on when to call your child, the pickup and drop-off times and when you can call or communicate with the other parent. Committing to respectful communication is also important to avoiding conflict.
- Agree not to jump to conclusions
Finally, don’t jump to conclusions. If your child tells you that the other parent took away their computer and that they “didn’t do anything wrong,” you may want to call and ask the other parent what happened before demanding that your child gets the device back, for example. Don’t jump to conclusions about their parenting or what happened until you hear from everyone.
Good coparenting can be tough, but if you have good communication, stay positive and refuse to jump to conclusions, you and the other parent are likely to have a better relationship and to be able to work together well as you raise your child.